Whod you bang
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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