There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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