Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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