his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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