so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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