it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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