yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
