is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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