if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
