So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
sex in a hospital.. check
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
