Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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