She announced her abortion via fbk
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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