I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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