I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cockslap morals
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
