I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
