i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
