I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
