YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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