Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
