Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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