You really coming over, don't trick.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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