Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
