you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
