I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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