The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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