you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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