Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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