Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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