wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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