It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
