i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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