Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize