yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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