Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
