Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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