I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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