dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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