Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
