By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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