Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize