turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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