Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize