he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
