her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
