We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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