What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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