nut hugger
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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