Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
