I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
