get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
