I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
