I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
