We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
